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Thursday, June 2, 2011

A Bunch of Hooey from Da Hooligans

MaGGIe wAnts a sTEak!

Me and Maggie and Buddy and Jack and Sissy are not happy. You can tell by da way Maggie’s ears are folded back in her picture. See?

You know dat a dog’s most favorite thing in da world to do is to wait in da kitchen while a two-legged cooks their supper. Because da smells are luscious and mouth-watering and because we know dat a scrap of sumpen is bound to find its way to da floor.

So yesterday morning, Dad gets a huge thick piece of meat from da cold box and puts it in a skillet and does what he calls ‘searing’. O O O bet you can imagine how good dat smelled!!! Den he cut up onions and tossed dem in wit da meat…. and he put some garlic in (dogs love garlic, too, sniffy sniffy wonderful smell) and den… and den…

He put all dat perfectly good smelly food in da crockpot.

Crockpot. Where it cooked all day and we 4 paws didn’t get even a teeny tiny taste of it.

AND THIS MORNING --- MOM did da same thing wit some chicken to make chicken an’ rice in da crockpot.

And den she put dry dog food in our bowls.

Tomorrow will be da same routine cause she told Dad she’s gonna make pepper steak for the crockpot. She says it’s too hot to cook when she gets home from work but da crockpot can cook slow all day and she and Dad have a hot meal as soon as they get home.

But where does dat leave us??? We can’t find any tiny meat morsels on da floor. We aren’t even getting any left over au jus on our dry dog food. What a bunch of hooey.

It just isn’t fair. Look at dat photo of Maggie again. See how sad she looks?? Please write to Mom and tell her we cannot survive on dry dog food. Our noses can’t take da smell from da crockpot all day while we are crated while Mom and Dad are at work. If your letters don’t work, we gonna organize a rebellion. We will turn away from the dry dog food and refuse to eat until we get sumpen juicy. Mom seems to have forgotten that hooligans never surrender. Hey Mom! Remember dose dead possums in da yard? Remember da yummy squirrel Maggie brought in da house dat day? Remember when me and Buddy went after the neighbors’chickens?????

Fair warning.



Ms. A said...

Mom, add some warm water to that dry food and give the whiners a break. (or be prepared to cook squirrel and neighbor's chicken in that crock pot)

(I see you split it down the middle. Looks great! See, what do I know.)

Amanda said...

Good gravy! Lol

Yum-Yum said...

Oooh, that chicken incident was so recent, too, he not foolin' around wid ya! I second what Ms.A sez, cuz you know a dog gotta do what a dog gotta doo-doo! Good LUCK! This can only UNITE THEM! That's how us guinea pigs roll and we figure them dogZ is almost as smart as us!

Lori G said...

Practice using the phone. You'll get it. "Meat of the Month Club". Call them. A dude slips it in the door and Oh My Yum before anyone notices. Put the paper in garbage. You can reach. Done. Shhhhhhhh