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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Howling Hooligan's Advice Column

Dear Howling Hooligan,

My dog is unable to reverse. Is this normal or simply more proof that her mom and dad were indeed brother and sister? Thanks for your time.

Sincerely, Suzy's Mom


      Dear Mom of Suzy,
 
Dogs can develop fear of any person, place or thing. Hoomans call it having a phobia and they go to hooman vets and get spensive trankwillizers to cover up their phobias. Dogs just hafta deal with their issues.

If Suzy had anunfortunate puppyhood all on her own without kind hoomans to help her, she might be refusing to go backwards because something turrible happened to her one time when she did go backwards.

Maybe she stepped on a nail or a piece of glass. Or onto something blazing hot. Or maybe some other dog attacked her from behind. It’s hard for hoomans to understand dog fears sometimes, because we don’t think exactly the same way you do.

Is it really important for Suzy to walk backwards? If it is, my mom can probly help you come up with a beehavyer modafacashun plan that will help Suzy. But it won’t happen right away. You will need alotta paeshense and compasshen and you will need to help Suzy take tiny steps toward the goal so that she won’t feel presshured.

We hope this helps. You seem to be a nice Mom, in spite of your strange sense of hoomer.

AAARRROOOOOOOO!

8 comments:

Gizmomma said...

Duke,
You are such a wonderful hooligan. You have shown great insight into what might be bothering Suzy. I think you're right that something may have happened a long time ago that scared poor Suzy when she went backwards. And really, if it was totally necessary for her to go backwards, I bet she would! Good job Duke!!!

Yum-Yum said...

speeking as the owner of a mama from the Deep South, we iZ goin' wid da "cousins theory" if nobody minds. We iz goin' wid da "cousinZ" theory if everBody minds cuz if you mindZ you iZ probly cuzzins, too!

Yum-Yum said...

P.S. mom goes backwards all da time. should we worry?

Ms. A said...

Maybe Suzy's shifter is broken? I know all my gears don't work anymore.

Kilkenny cat said...

Aw, sometimes a girl doesn't to see where she has already been. The Irishcats say, let her go forward and be happy!!

Kilkenny cat said...

We meant "want to see"; even kitties type in typonese.

Maggie and Mitch said...

That's a great answer, DD! You are a very smart and thinking pup!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Elizabeth said...

Sadly, we don't know Suzy's history because she was dumped as a pup on our office doorstep in downtown Mobile. I don't need her to go in reverse; I just noticed that if she followed me into a tight spot (like between the couch and the coffee table) she could not seem to back out and the whole situation puzzled and confused her. But Duke, as your own mom knows, Suzy is the sweetest dog in the world, and allowances are made for such. Thanks! WOOF and dog kisses, Suzy's Mama