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Saturday, July 30, 2011

STINKUM

The weather in Alabama is into a midday thunderstorm pattern now. The ground in our yard is so damp, there are toadstools growing in the dirt. We like to pounce on them and break them but Mom and Dad won't let us eat them. Under our backyard deck, the dirt is really really mu-u-ddee.

That means that me and Maggie have been muddy too. Mom says Maggie is like a character named Pigpen in a newspaper comic strip. Everywhere Maggie goes, a cloud of dirt follows her. Us Hoolies don't see that as a problem. Caked on mud keeps the skeeters away. But hoomans, even hoomans like our parents who really love dogs, aren't crazy about mud patties in the house.

So today I got took to the groomer. Maggie stays home for her baths because she doesn't like to go to the grooming salon. (And that's all we have to say on THAT subject. At least for now.) It isn't fair. I come home smellin' like I've been in a perfoom facktry and Maggie just smells like oatmeal shampoo. Last time I came home from the groomer, Buddy didn't like the way I smelled and he tried to attack me. No matter how often Mom tells 'em not to stink me up, the groomers always do. But Mom was determined today so away we went.

I got home about three hours later and I didn't want to get out of the car. This time, the stinkum perfoom was turrible. Mom had to roll down the car windows just so we could drive home without choking. This time, instead of trying to attack me, Buddy ran away from me. Maggie wouldnt even spar with me. They just left me there in the yard, all by myself.




So, I decided to do sumpen about it and I had a good couple of stabs at getting dirty again until Mom figured it out and yelled at me. "DUKE DONALD WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" 

Scratchin' off after watering the bushes


She grabbed me and hauled me inta the house and brushed the new dirt right off my legs. Then she told me to GO LIE DOWN AND BEHAVE YOURSELF!

So now, here I am. I am captive in the house while Maggie and Buddy are out there romping through the mud. That's okay, though. 'Cause I know that tomorrow it's Maggie's and Buddy's turn to get bathed. And then, with or without stinkum, they'll be captive in the house, too, probly until Monday afternoon. I figure it'll be about that long before we get cabin fever  and start some Horrendous Hooligan Havoc. And then we'll go right back outside to the mud again. 




AAARRROOOOOOOO!

5 comments:

Ms. A said...

Five minutes outside should cure that stink right up... or at least alter it to a doggie smell. Five minutes sure does it for me, I smell worse than a dog! (No offense)

Gizmomma said...

Oh, But you look soooo boootiful, Duke. Momma puts stinkeroo stuff on me too, and I sneeze and get wee liddle specs on sneeze juice on her, then she gets mad. Go figure! Hope you get the run of the yard tomorrow.
Your fellow Hooligan - GizaHoolie

Maggie and Mitch said...

You do look pretty handsome, DD, even though you do smell like a girl! We hope you can find something really stinky to roll around on in your yard!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Lori G said...

Oh Duke, I feel for ya Pal. Everytime I come home from the groomer people say "Awwww, She's so purty!" YUK!!!!
(mud,mud,mud...GO!!!)
WOOF!!
Popie♥

Yum-Yum said...

DUKE! you haz been WRONGED and we piggieZ is in soil-i-DARE-itty wid ya...mom always wants to groom us with a brush and we said: NOPE. So then she tried a comb. We said: NOPE.
Then she tried a flea comb and we left so much nasteeee-trash
on that comb one vet said it was a mite infestation and another said it was a flea infestation so now she don't brush us no'mo cuz the nasty fall into her bed and smear on her bedsheet and she don'know what sleepin' dead under her no more! And THAT, DUKE, IS HOW WE HOOLIGANz DO IT UP HERE IN THE GREAT PACIFIC NORTHWEST! TA-DAaaa!
And good luck. May the MUD BE WID'Y'ALL!